


Endings and Beginnings

by Nyx Midnight (nyxmidnight)



Series: Carpe Noctem [7]
Category: Persona 3
Genre: M/M, Mentioned Akihiko/Shinjiro, Mentioned Junpei/Chidori, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-15
Updated: 2012-05-15
Packaged: 2017-11-05 09:47:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/405036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyxmidnight/pseuds/Nyx%20Midnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How exactly do you cheer up a guy you’ve never seen act down before? Spoilers for October Full Moon and November 22nd to 27th.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Endings and Beginnings

The only other time Akihiko could remember when the walk back to the dorm had been this long, it was October 4th. Well, technically, 5th.

Junpei was walking a bit ahead of him, between him and Naoki who was carrying his sword for him, shoulders hunched, teeth gritted and fists clenched. He hadn’t said a word since they had left the school grounds; neither had anyone, in fact.

The gloomy procession reached the door of the dorm as the world came back to life, but it did nothing to cheer the atmosphere. They walked in and headed for their respective floors, the girls briefly stopping to touch Junpei’s arm or back as a sign of support, still at a loss for words. The boys walked Junpei to his door in silence. Ken gave his arm a gentle pat and a nod that Junpei barely acknowledged before retreating to his room. Naoki then hugged Junpei with one arm before handing him his sword and leaving. Before he realised it, Akihiko was standing alone in front of Junpei, who was looking at him from under the beak of his cap, and it felt completely wrong that despite having successively lost his parents, his sister, and Shinjiro, he just couldn’t think of anything at all to tell Junpei to make things better.

He swallowed audibly. “I…” he began, and as Junpei’s gaze slipped away from his face down to the floor beside him, he realized that no, _I’m sorry_ wasn’t going to cut it. He reached out, instead, putting his hand on Junpei’s shoulder and squeezing lightly. “If you need any—”

“I know,” Junpei interrupted, his voice hoarse. He begun to turn away.

Akihiko shut his mouth with a click, then nodded, his throat tightening. “Am here for you,” he managed to say while he was still sure of his voice.

Junpei nodded back. “I know,” he said, a little louder. “But,” he added as he brushed Akihiko’s hand off gently, “I wanna be alone tonight.” He ducked into his room before Akihiko could respond, and the little metallic noise he heard told Akihiko that Junpei had locked the door.

* * *

Akihiko lost track of Junpei after that. Career Week began at school and all the juniors were busy, but it was obvious Junpei wasn’t going to work. Akihiko was pretty sure he didn’t get up in the morning and, when he heard him get into his room past 3 AM one morning, he was certain. There was no way Junpei was working a full day if he went to bed that late. He tried knocking before leaving for school that day, but Junpei only shouted sleepily “I’m not going anywhere!”. And when Akihiko came home from school that afternoon, Junpei was gone already. He knew Junpei needed time, but he also hoped he wasn’t doing anything stupid.

* * *

Honestly, after Junpei’s resurrection, Akihiko never thought he would feel like thanking Chidori from the bottom of his heart again one day, so he was pleasantly surprised when the push he had hoped would help Junpei decide to get himself back on his feet came in the form of her sketchbook. It was a very welcomed relief to see Junpei smile again, because even after 4 days he hadn’t been able to figure out how he was supposed to cheer up a guy he had only known as positive and happy on the verge of obnoxiousness.

He was also pleasantly surprised to open the door to his room later that night, after someone knocked, to find Junpei standing on the other side.

“Hi, senpai… can I come in?” he asked with a small smile. Not his usual manners yet, but much better than the previous days’ moping.

Akihiko smiled back softly as he stepped aside to let him in.

Junpei headed straight for the bed before he suddenly froze in his tracks and turned to look at Akihiko, tugging a bit at his shirt sleeve. “Huh… where can I sit?”

“Oh… bed’s fine,” Akihiko assured him even as he tried to chase away the images of what had happened the last time they had been on that bed together. He sat next to Junpei, far enough so that he could sit to the side to look at Junpei without their legs touching, and crossed his legs. “What’s up?”

Junpei shifted a little, visibly uncomfortable. “I… I wanted to thank you. For everything.” Seeing Akihiko’s frown, he tried to elaborate, with much hand waving. “Y’know… when I was being stupid… when…” he blushed, “…. when you tried to warn me, when you held me back back there… just for, y’know, being there… everything,” he concluded with a grand sweep that made Akihiko move back in fear of getting slapped. “Sorry.”

“S’all right. That’s what friends are for, right?”

Junpei nodded. “Yeah…” He let his gaze wander on the bed cover for a few minutes while Akihiko waited, looking at him. “I… I wanted… I need your advice,” he began, looking for his words. “I need… I mean, I want… huh… I mean, since you… were… were you and Shinjiro-senpai… close?”

Okay, that one Akihiko hadn’t seen coming. He blinked a few times before he could decipher Junpei’s question and formulate an appropriate answer. “We… we’ve been friends since childhood…”

Flushed bright red, Junpei hid his face behind the beak of his cap. “S’not what I meant…” he mumbled.

“… OH.” Akihiko looked down too, feeling his ears burning. Had he been that obviously crossing the line from friend to… “I… I can’t…”

“I understand,” Junpei said with a nod. “It’s not really my business.”

“No… well it isn’t, but…” Akihiko scratched the bandage on his temple and took a deep breath. “it’s… everything was always complicated with Shinji. But… I think… I think he was the person I loved most in my life… if that’s what you wanted to know.” He tried to catch a glimpse of Junpei’s face to gauge his reaction. He couldn’t see much, thanks to that damned cap, but Junpei didn’t seem surprised or disgusted by the news, only thoughtful, scratching the hair growing on his chin. And still blushing.

After a few minutes of slightly awkward silence, Junpei pulled himself so he sat closer to Akihiko. “So can I… can I ask you a question?” He looked up at Akihiko hopefully, but he wasn’t smiling anymore.

“Sure.”

Junpei nodded. “I know… I just said I’d quit mopin’ around over her… and… I know you bounced back pretty fast after Shinjiro-senpai’s…” he looked down and swallowed. Akihiko reached out and gently lay his hand over his. “… so… so when does it actually stops hurting?”

Once again, Akihiko felt like he had been punched in the gut. He bit his lip briefly, looking at Junpei. “I… I don’t think it ever does. It just gets tolerable after a while.”

Junpei let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like a sob, but Akihiko didn’t point it out. “Well,“ he said before sniffing. “At least that’s honest. Thanks, senpai,” he added as Akihiko handed him a tissue.

“You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah,” Junpei said as he turned, aimed for the wastebasket, shot… and missed. “Dammit,” he swore as he got up to put the treacherous tissue in the basket. When he walked back to the bed, he sat by Akihiko again, but this time, close enough that their shoulders were almost touching. “… senpai?”

Akihiko looked at him.

“Would you… would you think it’s weird if… I wanted to lay my head on your shoulder for a while?”

It took a moment for Akihiko to answer. “I would. But,” he added as a disappointed Junpei looked away, “I wouldn’t hold it against you if you did.”

Closing his eyes and smiling, Junpei pulled his cap off and leaned in until his head rested comfortably on Akihiko’s shoulder, then laced the fingers of his hand with Akihiko’s. “Thank you, senpai,” he whispered softly.

Akihiko leaned his head against Junpei’s with a sigh and wondered idly when Junpei had managed to turn his “senpai”s from a mark of respect into what now pretty much amounted to a term of affection.


End file.
